Okay, it does. Here's more proof for us. If you have a weak stomach, stop reading and go look at our other posts.
This one is not for you.
Not you, eh? Tough guy, huh?
Okay then, can't say I didn't warn you.
We started keeping an injury list like the National Football League. Bill, Jim and Joey Porter would appreciate this.
Sunday, JJ goes on the Holman Family Injury List ("HFIL") as "Doubtful (stomach flu)". There's really no reason an 11-month old should barf on the floor, then look up at you and smile. It's not right, but that's Joey. She freaks me out with her good nature.
On to Monday. Got the call from Erica at work that Caroline was next up. Caroline had to be placed on the HFIL as "Questionable (stomach flu)". I counted six "confessionals" for Caroline with the porcelain God. She was not happy about any of them.
(Caroline in better times)
I feel bad for the sorority sister who has to nurse Caroline to health on the night of her 21st birthday. Best of luck with that one, sweetie. Yikes!
We were cool from there. However, then came 4:30am on Tuesday.
Henry went on the HFIL listed as "Doubtful (stomach flu)". He didn't like the color pattern on his sheets so he "rearranged" it.
His artwork smells bad.
I'm surprised barf is not a better artistic medium, though. Maybe that's how Picasso got his start? I mean, have you seen that cubist crap?
Anyway, H-Man dropped a street pizza and then happily went down stairs. He's weird like his baby sister.
That's a Holman kid hat trick if you are keeping score at home. But we're not done.
Erica's story is better in person, but here's what I think I'm able to tell you without too much disclosure.
As I was cleaning up Henry's mess, Erica wanted a word or two with one of our toilets. It was a harsh exchange. She beat the hell out of that thing. The toilet had no chance.
Erica added her name to the HFIL as "Questionable (stomach flu)".
Erica's encounter was the first time I felt truly sorry for a toilet since the event depicted below.
Pretty bad, eh?
So far, the only Holman to avoid the stomach flu plague currently gripping our house is yours truly.
Yeah, I know. I could get sick at any moment. In fact....
Just kidding.
Not grossed out? Okay then, I'll leave you with a classic picture of Henry's attempt to be the first boy in America to fly in a booger balloon.
Zoom in, if you dare.
I promise we'll clean it up next time. It's just a little overwhelming to live in a hospital with no one to laugh with.
3 comments:
So Rob, did you finally come down with it? Or did you leave the house throwing lit matches behind you? Wimp.
Not only did I escape unharmed, but this is the third time in the last four years that I've managed to avoid the stomach flu.
Unbreakable?
OMG. You made us laugh pretty hard. We were almost crying. Good luck avoiding the plague.
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