Marian Anderson or Marion and Anderson: The Long Strange Trip Continues

This is Marian Anderson.  She was one of the greatest singers in American history.

She was not in Marion or Anderson today.  However, I visited both Marion and Anderson (cities in Indiana) today on my continuing working tour of the state.

Brief thoughts on both fine cities? 

Anderson.  Well, it was hot and sort of depressing.

Spin me around ten times and move me into another small town in the Midwest this month and I'm pretty sure I'd say the same thing about that town.

Any town that is more than 5 miles from the interstate exit is a goner in this economy.  Anderson is a perfect example. 

Other than proximity to Indianapolis, if the Colts think they are getting a huge advantage moving their training camp from Terre Haute to Anderson, they are morons.  SSDD.

Marion.  The home of Lyndon Jones and Jay Edwards?  Well, it was hot and sort of depressing.

I did pass the birthplace of James Dean and the guy who created the Garfield comic strip on the way to Marion. 

I would have stopped to take photos, but I was trying to race back to my hotel so I could avoid the nightly ritual of Indiana tornadoes.

I am not joking.  Each of the past two nights has been a dodge-fest of golf-ball sized hail, torrential rains, 60 mph winds, bluish-green skies and tornadoes.

God is apparently pissed at us.

Don't believe me?

Well, a lightning bolt destroyed the "Touchdown Jesus" or "Butter Jesus" monstrosity near Middletown, Ohio last night.  For those of you who have driven down I-75 north of Cincinnati, Ohio and saw this thing:

You know the end is near.  It burned to the ground in two brilliant minutes of flame and irony.

Yesterday, I enjoyed a window seat to a tornado-producing thunderstorm in Zionsville, Indiana.  Tornado sirens and all. 

I discovered that the best way to enjoy a tornado is over a six pack of Modelos with your sister.

Seriously.  When it comes for you, what would you rather be doing?

Today was no different.  I had to wait for more tornado-producing thunderstorms to clear the Indy area before heading to the only sign of life in southeastern Hamilton County...

 
Yes, that's the sun emerging from the heavens as I dodged lightning strikes to reach the front door of Five Guys in Fishers, IN. 

Eleven dollars for a bacon cheeseburger, fries and a Mr. Pibb never tasted so damn good!

I'm off to Lebanon tomorrow.

No, not that Lebanon.

This Lebanon.  The Friendly City.

The above is an actual picture from the Lebanon, Indiana website.  Apparently, there's a new definition of "friendly" in the Friendly City. 

Yikes.

I am sure not to F with these bad asses.  I mean, they have totally got that soccer game under control.  I know tensions are high with the World Cup and all but is SWAT training really necessary at a soccer field in Indiana?

I can't wait for tomorrow to come.  I'm already fearful of what will happen next.

A plague of locusts?  Pestilience?  A giant meteor?