Full Frontal Nature

Rather than brave Black Friday at the malls and shopping centers of NE Ohio, we escaped to Port Clinton, Ohio for the Ohio version of an "African" Safari. 

Translation: Animals you'd expect to see in Colorado.  Buffalo, elk, alpacas and white-tailed deer.

You know, a real safari.

The African Safari Park in Port Clinton, Ohio is a 2 mile drive-thru where the animals are waiting to be fed from those passing through the park.  It's a domesticated livestock ranch and you are the entertainment.

Unfortunately for those who are looking for insightful commentary from the Holmans, you will find none here.  You see, we are raising an 8 year-old boy and a 6 year-old girl who is always looking to "one-up" her big brother.  Therefore, when the 8 year-old boy goes 8 year-old boy on the excretory habits of animals on the "safari," it spreads like wildfire.  We were not much help.  Poop jokes are just too easy to resist.

Prepare yourself for more pooping and peeing than a German Sauerkraut-eating contest.

And again.

And still again.

Henry was pretty tough when the windows were up.  However, as you can see from below, he softened up once the windows went down. 

The little ones were throwing the carrots from the back seat.

The fearless Mayor was at the wheel.

Caroline and Henry were riding shotgun.



Upon our return to Twinsburg, we quickly bee-lined to the nearest car wash to sandblast the caked on layers of Alpaca slobber and cholera we picked up at the park.  Because nothing says safari like a good bout of cholera.

Thanksgiving 2011

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Turkey Trotters

Will has been taking a few steps for us for the past week or so.  We finally got some film of it.  Enjoy!

And some earlier film of Will stepping and clapping.

And Josie being Josie.

Caroline: The Sixer

Caroline Paige.  The quiet and shy Holman. 

CP turned six on Friday the 4th but we decided to celebrate the occasion on Saturday due to my jacked up travel schedule.  

I managed to make it back late on Friday night to find C asleep in our bed.  Luckily, CP is easy to please at this stage.  I asked her what she wanted from the bayou and she, without hesitating, said, "Skittles, daddy.  Skittles."  

I love this child.

Boys, if you are paying attention, the girl's love can be bought with high fructose corn syrup and some snappy packaging.

I manged to do a little better than Skittles, though.  We had a birthday party with family and friends on Saturday and Caroline had a blast!  

Little Erica circa November 2005.

Caroline enjoying a Disney show in June 2011.

I said quiet and shy, right?

Joey nervously anticipating the singing of happy birthday.

The crew ranged from 10 months to 11 years old.

Surprisingly, Josie is apparently unphased by the singing of happy birthday now.  Another sad reminder of how fast kids grow up.  I guess there's always Will to traumatize for the time being.

His birthday is in roughly one month and judging on how bad I sing the song, the kid is going to be in tears.

Henry: The DC Lobbyist

There is little doubt in my mind that Henry's career as a K Street lobbyist in Washington, DC began on Wednesday, November 2, 2011.  You see, that was the date that Henry was asked to appear before the Twinsburg Board of Education to be recognized as the top second grade fund raiser for their annual read-a-thon.

Sure, he could aspire to be a doctor or a lawyer, but those people are morons. 

After all, I should know.  I once played doctor with a girl from Terre Haute and someone once handed me a license to practice law.  The real money is in PACs and campaign bundling.  Those scags in DC and Columbus are ridiculous and are practically untouchable.

Don't think Henry is a natural for fuzzy accounting and fundraising, check him out in the video below and listen to him tell you how much money he raised for the second grade: 

That's right, $230,000.60!  Eat that Koch Brothers!  Put that in your pipe and smoke it, George Soros!

The bundler before his big moment.

I read.  I raised cash.  I conquered.

Henry and Mrs. Johnson, his principal, after he told her he could raise $1.5M for a new facility.

For those still reading this post, I hate having to point out the obvious, but to the kid who allegedly read over 3,000 minutes in 12 days?  I have to question the validity of that. 

I mean, c'mon now, son.  That's more than four hours per day of reading!  Put your book down and go play outside.  Ride a bike.  You have your whole life to waste on the sequel to "A Diary of a Wimpy Kid".

But that's just sour grapes from the parent whose son just raised nearly a quarter million dollars for Twinsburg schools, baby! 

Get some.