Henry: The DC Lobbyist

There is little doubt in my mind that Henry's career as a K Street lobbyist in Washington, DC began on Wednesday, November 2, 2011.  You see, that was the date that Henry was asked to appear before the Twinsburg Board of Education to be recognized as the top second grade fund raiser for their annual read-a-thon.

Sure, he could aspire to be a doctor or a lawyer, but those people are morons. 

After all, I should know.  I once played doctor with a girl from Terre Haute and someone once handed me a license to practice law.  The real money is in PACs and campaign bundling.  Those scags in DC and Columbus are ridiculous and are practically untouchable.

Don't think Henry is a natural for fuzzy accounting and fundraising, check him out in the video below and listen to him tell you how much money he raised for the second grade: 

That's right, $230,000.60!  Eat that Koch Brothers!  Put that in your pipe and smoke it, George Soros!

The bundler before his big moment.

I read.  I raised cash.  I conquered.

Henry and Mrs. Johnson, his principal, after he told her he could raise $1.5M for a new facility.

For those still reading this post, I hate having to point out the obvious, but to the kid who allegedly read over 3,000 minutes in 12 days?  I have to question the validity of that. 

I mean, c'mon now, son.  That's more than four hours per day of reading!  Put your book down and go play outside.  Ride a bike.  You have your whole life to waste on the sequel to "A Diary of a Wimpy Kid".

But that's just sour grapes from the parent whose son just raised nearly a quarter million dollars for Twinsburg schools, baby! 

Get some.